How The Rod Can Ruin Your Child If Not Used Correctly
A couple of years ago as I was talking to a parent, I casually asked how she disciplined her child’s wrong behavior and pat came the answer, “I whack him when he does wrong.” I will admit at that time I acknowledged ‘the pride in the tone’ of the parent that came with the answer. Today as I understand God’s love for me in a deeper way I understand I was wrong in understanding Proverbs 13:24. His Word is His love for us and it cannot teach anything violent and destructive.
The Rod Is Misused
Stress has taken a toll on our mental health and we take every opportunity to emit our frustration, and most of the time children are prey to it. We find ourselves yelling, screaming, and at times even beating our children when they have not behaved in the way they should. We do all this in the name of Proverbs 13:24 and take pride in it.
‘The Rod’ Has Been Misunderstood
The rod referred to in the verse is a shepherd’s rod. A shepherd’s rod signifies authority, defense, discipline, and guidance. The sheep recognize whom to follow with who holds the rod, the shepherd protects the sheep with the rod in times of danger and he corrects the ways of the sheep as they walk and guides them. Have you ever seen or heard a shepherd thrashing a sheep to the right path? No, a stern tap and the sheep understand it can’t get away.
Only a shepherd like David could say, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” David knew the kindness hidden in a shepherd’s rod and the comfort and confidence in it.
Sadly we have not understood this and have given good thrashing to our children thinking it is Biblical. A thrashing or beating can cause traumatic significance in the child’s life and most of the time such thrashing is done in anger. Therefore do not miss use the Word of God to vent your anger but use it wisely to bring in correction in your child’s life.
An instruction given sternly and firmly will definitely be heard and obeyed. A stern look in the eye and confidence in your tone does it all. Let your ‘no’ be ‘no’ and ‘yes’ be ‘yes’. When children see confusion among their parents or see the double standard in what they say, they take advantage of it and don’t obey. It is very important for both parents to have a healthy sync in their instructions to children.
The Rod Is Discipline
Let’s look at Proverbs 13:24 one more time in a different version: He who withholds the rod [of discipline] hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines and trains him diligently and appropriately [with wisdom and love]. – AMP
Many of us have used the rod but let go of discipline. Most of the time a child doesn’t even know the reason why is the rod being used and the purpose is lost. The rod, in this verse, is nothing but discipline and not a beating. So we do not have to ‘withhold discipline.’ The Bible gives a lot of emphasis on discipline because it has a very positive result. Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; Yes, he will delight your soul.- Proverbs 29:17. Disciplining done in the right way and right time gives peace of mind and brings happiness.
Disciplining is not a time to prove your point or make you feel good it is a time to help children overcome their weaknesses and as they do so they will make us happy. Children’s misbehavior, mistakes, etc. does cause us to get angry and the Word of God says it is fine to be angry, but not right to sin in anger (Ephesians 4:26).
It is acceptable to be angry with ungodly behavior, immorality and injustice but not with the one who has committed it. When in a situation where we find our child in sin, it is best to give ourselves a few minutes to cool our anger, rebuke our children when we are settled emotionally, and then give a disciplinary task that will help the child to remember not to repeat it again. In wisdom, we should guide our children away from sin rather than provoking them from getting into it more. And the best way to do so is, when you and your child have settled mentally, kind-heartedly explain the consequences of the sin and the reason why you are correcting it.
Never forget the only reason that sums up every disciplinary action is God’s love and your love for your children.
