“I don’t want to go with you guys.” “I need my privacy.” “I don’t want to meet relatives.” “I don’t want to come to church just because you go.” – These are familiar statements to parents with teens. Children enter their teens and they begin to get rebellious, difficult to talk to, and at times just impossible. 

These could be the same thoughts that your teen must be thinking about you, parents! 

The transition from childhood to teens is very sensitive and has to be handled tactfully with a lot of love and patience. As a child goes through a lot of biological changes at this age, he/she also goes through a lot emotionally and socially. And we as parents have to learn to be their strong support. 

As much as they would want “not to conform to the ways of this world.” – (Romans 12:2), they will be forced to if they don’t get the backing at home.

I have observed that the mindset of parents has been pruned to believe that the teenage is a stressful phase for parents. “This is a part of parenting and I have to go through this dark tunnel.” Says who? Give me a verse in the Bible that says this about your teen. 

Today it is unheard of – “My teen doesn’t give me trouble.” We begin to judge parenting and try to find faults. Do you know why? Because we have begun to believe what the world around us has told us. The teenage phase is troublesome and difficult! And even before our children enter into this phase we stress about dealing with their rebellious ways. 

Jesus said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” – Matthew 19:26, and in Christ Jesus, parents, you are more than conquerors! 

The Lord will reveal to us ways to deal with our teens as per their personalities and lead them into the Kingdom Purpose. 

It is never too late to begin. Here are a few thoughts that can help you kick start. 

From those moments of laughing, playing, and talking with our children we see a transition into cold silence. As much as we try to fit in with our questions we get farther away from them. Our questions put them off and they close themselves to us. Our immediate response and judgmental opinions stop them from approaching us. It is good to develop a measure of distance as a way to help them deal with life on their own with parents’ input all the time. But distancing that is attached with a strain will slowly weaken the relationship and the teen silently suffer the consequences of sin in shame believing there is no way out. 

This is one of the reasons why our teens resist God in their lives when they are struggling and coping with their issues. They begin to believe that even God will handle their situation in a similar manner. 

As parents, let us make it our prayer and ask God to give us the courage to develop a repentant heart. When our children observe our imperfections as we repent before God we lead them to the Father’s heart of forgiveness. They know that there is a place for forgiveness of their sins and solutions to every problem. As parents, we have to prayerfully develop a blend of grace and boldness with love and authority as we lead our teens to depend on Christ in their life. 

As parents, in all our ways we need to be cautious not to hurt our children so that the line of communication is open. We got to be bold to ask for forgiveness if any instance we hurt them with our words or deeds. This lightens the situation and builds trust. We have to be open and available, quick to listen, and show interest in a conversation and counsel rather than being too busy and disinterested. 

In our pursuit to impress upon our children the truths of the Christian life, we tend to tarnish the beauty of living a Christ-like life. Through the years we pass on traditional ways and dutiful living that are condemning and guilt-driven. 

Freedom is of outermost importance to teens. Yes, their definition of freedom varies from what the Lord has for us but we in our ways bind them to Christian obligations and duties that suffocate them. Blessings become conditional and as they fall short of fulfilling them they get discouraged and move away. 

As parents, we must make every effort to help our children be faithful to Christ. They should not follow Christ as an obligation but be in love with the beauty of Christ. Therefore let our prayer be that we model a life that reveals the beauty of Christ and that the Lord will bless our every effort and desire to root our teens in the love of Christ. 

As inadequate and unequipped as you may feel as parents, at this moment remember Christ is at work with you. You are not alone and the Lord will guide you as you commit your ways to Him and entrust your children into His hands.